• KC

Apologetically Unapologetic



Confused? So was I when I finally noticed a super obvious recurring incident.

It felt like a proper déjà vu.


Noun

A feeling of having already experienced the present situation.

You know those things you watch happening and wonder, “Why did it happen like this? Why didn’t I react differently? What could have I done to stop this?” Or even worse, when you are stuck speechifying alternative deliberations in your mind, you wish you had used instead?


Yeah, we’ve all been there and had one too many of those. So, how do these occurrences connect with being apologetically unapologetic?


Well, have you noticed that we, as humans, are extremely careful and careless with our words at the same time. The only difference is that we selectively opt for either/or, based on the situation. Push a door too hard, and a “sorry” pops up, let out a sneeze and an “excuse me” rushes out, startle someone by your mere presence in a corner and an embarrassed “didn’t mean that” mumbles out – so on and so forth.


Which honestly brings me to think, either…we are all ridiculously well-mannered about little things that don’t matter or way too careful with the feelings of strangers that surround us.

At the same time – big ups to those careful moments where we decide to reserve that apology or the genuine regretful sentiment towards the ones that actually matter.


You know those moments when you’ve had a heated fight with a close friend, and neither of you refuses to bow down? Or those where you’ve said something awful to your partner and are too proud to take it back? Don’t forget about that unkind word vomit or rude actions, maybe even the lack of them, to your families without any remorse. Yes, those and plenty more where you know your gut was screaming at you to rectify it with a simple apology, that’s all this situation demands of you – but instead, you decide to up ease your ego and stick to being, ‘right.’


Obviously, that holds more weightage than uttering those few words that you are clinging on to – ever so tightly, right?


Wrong.

So, when this is as obvious as 2 + 2 = 4, how is it that we find ourselves circling in similar situations time and again? Is it a pattern that we like returning to, or is it something that we intentionally don’t see recurring? Even worse, is this a habitual orderliness we yearn for and desire? Reserving the best of us for strangers while shying away from a simple apology to ones closest to us until they become a distant memory?


The question remains, why?


Why didn’t you fix it? Why didn’t you just say sorry? Why did you let it happen again? Why did you allow it to become bigger than it’s meant to be? Why did you let it get here?


Why did you not simply just let it go?

The question persists, is it finally time to evolve and let go of the déjà vu’s or continue to remain apologetically unapologetic?


With love and unending musings,

Stories By Giggles

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