• KC

When X becomes Y

There are two types of people in this world.


The believers and the skeptics.

The listeners and the speakers.

The doers and the pausers .


There are infinite such categories, and the point of this was to simplify Type A and Type B. Now, having simplified this, I'll jump to the ones that have currently caught my attention; the ones that need to know; and the ones that know.


Confused?

Let me explain.


It all started with a candid conversation that I'd had with a friend of mine, a couple of weeks ago, when he said that the most critical thing in a partnership, would be to really know the person he's been seeing, understand their pysche, comprehend their compatability and then consider if this could potentially grow to the next step; i.e. getting married. He is the classic Type A; the ones that need to know.


Now on the flip side, I also am fully exposed to another friend of mine that is a believer of the other side of the spectrum where, all it takes is one moment of meeting someone to know that they have met the one. Easily categorized under Type B; the ones that know.


So I started thinking of the expression; partners in every sense. How do we select a partner to partner with us, in every step of life? What is the deciding factor, and more importantly the ever constant component that keeps a partnership going? How long do we need to know someone, until we know that he or she is the one? Do we really know our partners before we commit to them, or is it safer to rely on becoming partners after the big step has been taken?


Which Type's method makes more sense?


To simplify this, I started making lists to further justify these two contrasts; and which of the two were righter than right.


Type A: The Ones That Need To Know

When they start dating someone, and getting familiarised with their partner's personality traits, their environmental tendancies (purpose, interests, ambition etc) so on and so forth, they begin to start believing that they know their partners. Having developed a friendship with them; they believe they can determine almost about every reaction of their partner; up until suddenly after years there's a behaviorial shift noticed in their partners, and they wake up to realise this isn't the same person that they earlier thought were. In creeps another thought, this isn't the same person that they fell in love with. Does this mean that they don't really know them? When did they stop knowing them? Did they two stop being friends? Even worse, does this mean that they love them any less?


This deliberation, furthered my insight and I broke it down farther:


Key for the below:

X being the primary personality & interests.

Y being the added changes due to time & evolvement.


In the year 2000, Person A = X.


Five years later, in 2005, Person A has all of the initial attributes that he/she had from the year 2000, however because change is the only constant, Person A has some added interests, and hence is now = X + Y


By the year 2010, Person A has X but thanks to our tick-tocking friend, Y has now become more domininant in Person A which means the following: Person A = Y (and a few hints of X)


Has Person A become all Y and barely X?


The very majority of who they knew has changed, and hence he/she has evolved into becoming somebody else, altogether. Did it help to have learnt the person in the first place, to only result to having to relearn them again, with time? Did they want to be with Y, when infact they had started their journey with X?


Let's quickly hop to the spectrum of the believers.


Type B: The Ones That Know

The ones that know who their partners are at the very inception. They are the ones that believe that there is only one, that's meant for you; no choices aside from that one, and when they cross that one, they are compelled to give in.


Their journey, of discovering their partner is very different from the first type. They are fully committed to be married to this one person, without knowing much of them. They believe that the road to learning someone after committing, is more exciting than the other way around. Getting to know them as their spouse first, and then becoming friends with them. So, not long after into their big step, they start unfolding stories about their other half; their school life, getting introduced to their friends, learning little habitual quirks about each other, every new day. Their lifestyle preferences, and even their cuisinal choices. The little things of how they do what they do for their other half, their family and friends, and how they are with themselves, and their own.


But wait, what if they don't like what they learn? What if, in that brief first moment, their instinct miscalculated? What do they do then? What if they have married Y when they were looking for X and now it's too late to get out?


Ah, the believers believe too much...or do they?


Hypothetically speaking; let's compare this to another situation with the two types we have with us.


Type A: buys a potted plant, only after the bud has blossomed, knowing that this is the flower that they'd be committed to nurturing. It wouldn't be limited to just admiring the fragrance & beauty of the grown flower; the key would be to water the plant, give it enough sunlight, and take care of it so it can keep growing.


Type B: buys a potted plant, while it is still a seed and they can only currently see the soil, with the hope that it eventually blooms into a flower that they'd like to nurture. It wouldn't be enough to just enjoy the preliminary process of watering the plant, giving it sunlight and taking care of it, the key here would be to admire the beauty & fragrance of it, irrespective of which flower it is, because it's theirs to grow.


To put my rationale to context, for the Type A's, while their partners are evolving, and changing, so are they as individuals. It is in fact the very foundation of their friendship that enables their partnership to challenge them to help grow each other to be better versions of themselves.

For the Type B's, while their partnership may have quirks that are too far off from what they imagined it to be, they start having mutual understandings, while getting familiarised with each other through their friendship to strengthen their partnership.


Whichever of the type it is, you are still with a potted plant that is yours, with flowers to bloom, fragrances to appreciate, sunlight & water to give and a whole load of nurturing & growth to offer to each other, until every step of life.


The steps might vary, but the process still remains the same.


With love,


Stories By Giggles


Ps: I come under Type A, of the two, and have been blessed to not only be admired but also be given a whole load of water, sunlight and nurturing by my partner to constantly keep me growing.

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