Here I come after almost sixty plus days of being embarrassingly MIA from this space, and for the handful that may have noticed and may have missed my musings, this one's a cheeky little piece.
So today, I've come to address the big C.
Okay pause.
What's the first word that comes to your mind when you think of the letter C? Please do not mentally mumble the word, 'cat,' because we really aren't doing the ABCs here. Think of five heavy descriptive C lettered words and maybe form a listicle in your mind as you read this. For me, they would have to be the following words:
Creative
Candid
Connected
Curious
Committed
Are any of mine, any of yours?
Okay so I'll be candid, none of the above has a relevant connect to what I am about to go into. This was an inadequate less-than-creative attempt to tickle your curiosity. Stay with me...it's been a while but, I promise we are getting there. I'll give you this, I'm going to talk about one of the above, but you're really going to have to commit.
Ta-da, C for Committed.
Yes, that one.
Let's deconstruct this, point by point, shall we? My mind has been a playground with the thought of being committed, committing to something, or someone, and then having commitments.
Fun fact, when you look at the word for way too long, or repeatedly, your mind forces you to believe there is something wrong with the way you have spelled it or the way the word looks, haha. You even begin to wonder, if this word has always been spelled this way.
Going back to the C-word...it wouldn't be too farfetched for me to state that we are a generation of masses that are wholly committed to our work, or jobs, but are too afraid to commit to anything more than that in any other segment of our lives. Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone in general but I wouldn't rule out resistance being the predominant emotion felt by a majority of us.
How do you stay committed, and true to what you do, but struggle at the notion of anything more, with anything else?
We see athletes being committed to their fitness and discipline.
We see teachers being committed to their nurtures, at least most of the times.
We see doctors being committed to healing, more so this year.
We see creatives being committed to their craft, no matter how much they hate themselves for it.
We see lawyers committed to their deliberations, plugging in rationale wherever they can.
I could go on and on, but you get the gist, don't you? If you really love what you do, or even if you don't but are merely motivated enough to stay at it, it isn't too hard to have an individual to commit to their practice - unless they switch their occupation every now and then.
Then comes in another fragment of commitments which is committing yourself to another. Whichever gender you may be, the C word is heaaaav-y.
How do you know if you can commit yourself, and how do you judge the one to be right enough? What if committing yourself to someone else would equal to reduced time for your own commitments - or even worse, reduced commitment to yourself? What if the other persons commitments suddenly become yours, and yours slowly sweep away into shadows? Scarier thought, what if you start confusing the map on what your priorities should be and where your commitment lies because of the blinding commitment to someone else?
Oh, come on, don't roll your eyes, I'd warned you, it's the big C word.
But on a more serious note, how do you know all of this and more?
I often see sacrifices, compromises and all of that conveniently thrown about when the mention of the C word pops up between two individuals. Wherein, one of the two always is more of the giver, while the other one keeps remaining casually in their comfort zone while being the smooth taker.
Why? Doesn't that make you wonder, how can one stay committed to someone that doesn't understand their drive, or commitments? Even further, why would one want to stay committed in this case? I know a lot of times, the sane counterclaim is convenience or compromise, or compatibility but would any of them answer the long-term commitment i.e., to yourself?
My partner recently told me something, (and for the few that don't already know, we are getting married very soon, yay) and it was in that moment that I was charmingly reminded of why he feels as right to me as it does.
He said, "Two souls, one body sounds poetic, but it isn't us."
While hopping on to the C-wagon, it's so important to be understand that a commitment of two souls equals to two individuals with a lot of separate interests and desires, and have chosen to commit sharing each other's lives with the other while staying true to their truest selves. Sometimes, that would mean for your partner reminding you to stay true to the version of you that you'd committed to, while fiercely protecting that force for you. That's the only equation I see, with my naive eyes, to curate a flourishing C-street.
That's all boys and girls...call me what you like, but I couldn't not talk about the big C right before tying the knot.
What can I say? I am unapologetically conventional, sometimes.
With love and the promise to write more often,
Stories By Giggles